Once again, it’s personal and I’m sharing something I rarely admit: the best advice I ever got which I ignored for way too long.
The Advice
Years ago, someone wiser told me: "Do fewer things, better. The ability to focus is the secret to real progress."
I nodded along. But deep inside, I naively thought, "That sounds great, but I’m great at juggling many priorities, so if there’s an exception to that, I’m definitely that one exception."
So as usual, I kept saying yes, to every request, every new idea, every opportunity, every dinner invitation, both in my professional career and personal life. I was convinced that if I didn’t take on everything, I’d either be missing out or not being able to give my input.
What Saying Yes Cost Me
At first, it felt like being super productive and socially active. I was ever busy, and I was involved everywhere. But soon (well, in real terms, it was years), I realized I was spread too thin:
My focus was completely fractured, I’d rarely finish something I started on my own.
Really Important things and often loved ones got only tiny bits of attention.
I was exhausted, stressed, and feeling like I was constantly behind.
Worst of all, I felt my impact and my presence diluted. I wasn’t delivering my best work anymore and I wasn’t fully present with friends and family.
The Moment It Hit Me
There was one day when I looked at my pile of work and calendars, dozens of half-finished items, things I had agreed to but couldn’t fully commit to. I caught myself thinking, "What I’m even doing to myself???"
Choosing Focus
I started saying no. Often that meant simply not saying “yes” to everything that came across my path
I decided to delete all my TODOs, stopped using all the task organizers and calendars I had. From that moment, I started taking the simplistic approach of “If it’s truly important, it will come back to me even though I forget it”. I finally recognized that being overwhelmed wasn’t a badge of honor.
What Changed
I had more energy and headspace to do good work.
The things I did were better quality and had more impact.
I felt less stressed and more in control.
People around me noticed the changes and wondered what I had done.
There's a catch….
Nowadays my work involves so many different contexts that if I don't take notes or add items to my calendar, I will simply not have the mental space to remember and let it come to me in their natural priority. So I restarted setting systems in place to help me look at my incoming work and appointments in advance. I haven’t changed on how I manage my personal life, I still don’t use calendars or reminders of any sorts.
What About You?
Have you ever been caught in the "say yes to all" trap like I did? What helped you?
